Do you have a burning desire to be the best at everything you do? Do you 'get down' and 'give' yourself 'five' every time you make a mistake? Then let's pretend it is Sports Day at your Junior School and do this test to find out whether you're top of the pops or down the shops.
1. It's the first event of the day, the sack race. What do you do?
(a) Pre-select the sack with the greatest aerodynamic qualities then practice behind the bushes an
hour before Sports Day starts.
(b) Try too hard, resulting in jumping out of the sack and landing face first on the grass.
(c) Participate with indifference and irritation.
(d) Call a halt to proceedings as the roughness of the Hessian used in the sacks exceeds safety
levels.
2. The next event is the sprint; essentially a race from the top of the field to the bottom. How do
you prepare?
(a) A combination of leg stretches, touching your toes and wind-milling your arms.
(b) By finding a dead wasp you can throw into the best-runner-in-the-school‟s face just as the
teacher shouts 'Go'.
(c) By ambling up to the start line while making a daisy chain.
(d) By outlining to the organisers that under no circumstances should the race be run in daylight
which exceeds ten thousand lux.
3. According to the agenda, it's the Egg and Spoon race next. What happens?
(a) You feel proud that you have trawled the shelves in Tesco for an egg that sits snugly into the
deepest spoon you could find.
(b) You hold the egg on the spoon with your thumb until told otherwise, stating that the rules were
not fully explained.
(c) You decide to walk at a constant speed, no matter what those around you are doing, then, when
you realise you are last, you speed up and drop your egg, causing it to smash and thus
eliminating you.
(d) You politely remind the organisers of the dangers posed by salmonella.
4. You notice a large net has been laid on the ground near the end of the running track. You
assume this means the obstacle course is next. What do you do?
(a) Walk through the course in your mind telling yourself that it is not strewn with obstacles, but
personal challenges to be overcome by positive thinking.
(b) Miss out as many obstacles as you can until told otherwise.
(c) Take each obstacle as it comes, until you get tangled up in a hula-hoop. Once you realise you are last, just go through the motions until you finish the race.
(d) Perform a risk assessment on each obstacle paying particular attention to the potentially fatal
properties of the space hoppers.
5. You are handed a small green beanbag and told to line up on the start line. What do you do?
(a) Attempt to make the beanbag fit your head like two jigsaw pieces.
(b) Hold the beanbag on your head whilst sprinting towards the finish line. Even after
disqualification, it is still a victory in your mind.
(c) Put the beanbag on your head and plan to walk at a constant pace no matter what everyone else
is doing, until you realise you are last and then you run, causing the beanbag to fall from your
head thus disqualifying you.
(d) Hold a short training course on ergonomics, posture and how to prevent repetitive strain injury.
You then supervise the race and provide feedback to the participants afterwards.
6. You are ushered back to the start line and told to find a partner for the wheelbarrow race. You
are told to grab your partner's feet while they walk on their hands in front of you. What do you
do?
(a) Do one hundred push ups before the race in an attempt to strengthen your arms as you decide to
play the part of the wheelbarrow. Everyone else is too weak and pathetic.
(b) Start the race with roller skates strapped to your hands regardless of the rules.
(c) Choose someone you feel will make a good wheelbarrow, then realise that they have collapsed
under their own weight and you have shoved their head into the soil.
(d) Allow the race to proceed as you cannot see how this event could possibly breach any of the
basic health and/or safety laws.
7. A teacher comes at you and your wheelbarrow partner with a piece of string. They tie your left
leg to your partner's right leg. What do you do?
(a) Devise a rhythmic chant which helps you both walk at the same speed.
(b) Attempt to run the race with very little regard for your partner's safety/ligaments.
(c) Wish really hard that the Sports Day fairy will intervene and make it rain.
(d) Explain that the politically correct term for the race is 'the race for persons of augmented
appendage quantity' and insist that it is referred to in this way in future so as not to upset any
real 3-legged people.
How did you score?
Mostly A’s
You are highly competitive; in fact you have probably done all you can to ensure you did better at this quiz than anyone else.
Mostly B’s
You are competitive though a victory through any means is acceptable. You are the type of person who uses cheat codes on computer games before playing without them first.
Mostly C’s
Though the spirit of competition is within you somewhere, you'd rather be somewhere else doing something else and coming last does as much damage to your ego as tripping over when nobody is watching.
Mostly D’s
Congratulations on your successful career in Middle Management.
Read more 'Playground Olympics' in the book 'Playground Olympics : an alternative guide to playground games', available now from Amazon. Click here for details.
Read more 'Playground Olympics' in the book 'Playground Olympics : an alternative guide to playground games', available now from Amazon. Click here for details.
No comments:
Post a Comment